The end of an era

Today I attended my 91 year old grandfather's funeral. My grandfather was a true gentleman. To hear him acknowledged as such by a wide variety of people, people his own age, people who work with people his age and people of younger generations, suggests the truth of the statement.

He was a gentleman and as I reflected on his passing I was forced to reflect on the passing of the idea of being gentleman. The ideals that I think of when I remember his life are not the ideals that I see in society around me. The little things, like opening a door for a lady and always walking on the roadside of the footpath (to get hit first by a wayward car) that reflected his understanding of his role in the world. He was far from a servant, but he did serve. He was also a gentle man. As far as I understand he swung the belt when needed (he was a man of his time), but it was a role he filled rather than a role he loved. He served his country in a time of war. He served his community and his family in times of peace.

He was an 'Aussie battler' of the real variety, rather than the A Current Affair kind. He worked on a dairy farm, when the land was cleared by hand. He drove a milk truck, when the milk crates were lifted onto the truck rather than the milk being pumped. He drove trucks and towed the caravan around Australia in a time before airconditioning, powersteering, ABS brakes and tinted windows.

I reflected today on the place of the gentleman in Australian society. Is it a quaint ideal? Does it belong to a bygone era, when men were Men and women stayed at home, cooked the dinner and did the washing? But again that isn't what I hear of my grandfather's life story. He was a man who loved the farming lifestyle. The hard work, the outdoors, the mateship. But he also loved his family, and they couldn't endure the farming life. So he moved into town and raised his family, still doing hard physical work.

I don't think the idea of the gentleman is a quaint ideal. I don't think that it belongs in a bygone era. I do see in some of my male friends a flicker of that gentlemanly spark. The virtues of hard work, service, commitment to family, simplicity, humility and dependability are ones I wish to emulate.

Here is a poem that my grandmother wrote about her husband:

Les

He stands tall among me:

Outstanding!

Because of his simplicity;

Expecting little from life

for himself

And yet

He gives freely of his skills

His time, his love

To others

Never one to blow his own trumpet

Though he has plenty to blow

his trumpet about ...

Always read for a laugh

For his ready wit he is valued

He sees in simple things

The larger picture;

Not obscured by wealth

Or the need to perform

to other's standards

He is always there when needed

He is strong, reliable, kind,

His name is Les.